Ego... As A Challenge To Personal Development

Do you have to manage or lead someone who has tremendous potential but has a sense of lack in their life? Like something is innately wrong with them. This is an emotion that dictated the course of my life for probably 25 or 30 years and only within the last few have I got a handle on what it really means and how to actually handle it.

This is the very emotion that drove me into personal & professional development. To date I have spent close to $180,000 dollars and over 1500 hours trying to overcome this feeling of lack.  Fortunately I learned some amazing skills along the way and in the process learned a shit-load about myself. 

I no longer am “engaged” with this on-going internal struggle.  I have freed myself from the illusion and I’ve learned how to manage my emotions and internal dialog quite well. This change did not come down upon me like a lightning bolt, it kind up snuck up on me, a little bit at a time, when suddenly I noticed I wasn’t beating myself up any longer and I was choosing to be happy and feel good. The change occurred when I stumbled upon the single most empowering awareness of my life…

Before one can empower the reality of being fulfilled and complete,

one must first stop empowering the reality that one is not.

This was a bold realization for me because I felt deep inside of me such a talent for teaching, communicating, and researching, but I felt like a failure and broken at the same time.  I now am able to draw on these challenging and painful experiences when helping others to grow and develop.

When I work with teams, I am able to instantly move each team member to higher productivity because I know how to help them manage this feeling of lack. It is part of just about every professional I meet. The level of Ego identification that top level Executives are challenged with no longer surprises me.  They in turn often find themselves very grateful for the personal transformation.

As Professional Development expert, I have experienced first hand the draw of skill based solutions and have an extensive library to show for it. There was a time where I was reading 2 books a week and listening to self-improvement CDs 15 hours a week. I’ve been to most of the trainings on excellence that exist as well as worked with “gurus” and “millionaire mentors”. I now realize none of that was needed, but for me… it was a necessary part of my journey and has given me the tools and wisdom to truly impact the people who are drawn to my work.

When you watch a colleague or one of your employees in the throws of this internal conflict, simply put a hand on their shoulder and say, “Your beliefs about yourself are false… I believe in you and want to help you believe in yourself”.  Giving a person permission to believe in them self is a foundational belief of All About Teamwork and is a fundamental principle to motivation and increased performance.

As a business owner you will learn that leadership has some subtle yet powerful nuances that help people become more of who they are meant to be... but that’s a blog topic for another day.

People Can See Your Values & Beliefs

What is your morning ritual?  Does it involve exercise, meditation, prayer, affirmations, goal setting, lifestyle planning…?   Or is it more reactive… hit the snooze button 3 times, get up late, cut yourself shaving, grab coffee on the way out the door, and speed through morning rush hour to arrive at work one or two minutes late.

How about your bedtime ritual?  Do you stretch, pray, prepare tomorrow’s clothes, prioritize your day, say a heartfelt goodnight to the family and read. Or are you more geared to a brush of the teeth, a quick pee, and take your clothes off bedside with the TV remote in hand?

I’m not advocating one style over another… what I am saying is that your morning and  bedtime rituals proudly illustrate your beliefs and priorities.

So what are rituals… communication at its finest and purest form.  Rituals are a natural occurring phenomenon within every previous and existing culture that communicates to the individuals within that culture, “this is who we are, this is what we believe in, and this is how you fit in as one of us.

Unit of Communication

All rituals are a unit of communication that involve the following three components

1. movement

2. sound

3. symbolic meaning

The most powerful aspect of rituals is their innate ability to help you communicate with yourself.

I have had the privilege of being exposed to every “hot topic” seminar or leaning modality on communication and change that good money can buy.  Whether you are a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, a Certified Hypno-therapist, an Energy Healer, or dynamic leader, effectiveness in any arena is directly associated with ones ability to communicate with their own internal self and manage their emotional states. 

Some of us are lucky enough to have modeled very effective self-communication patterns; others have modeled very destructive ones.  Remember, if we don’t establish our own success rituals (self-communication habits), our unconscious communication patterns will often establish ineffective one’s for us.  Deep inside, our own minds and hearts live in a world of rituals.  Culture Is Cool Tribal Blog reminds you to be mindful and purposeful in the rituals you choose to engage your energy in… its self-communication at its finest and purest form and has been for thousands of years

Let Us Marvel At The Power Of Human Belief

It started so innocently decades ago... ... stereotypical lab coats, scientific medical experiments, a white sugar pill and the power of human belief. It was the discovery of the placebo effect... ... the dynamics of which have marveled scientists for years.

Because this is such a powerful phenomenon, the emergence of “Persuasion”, “NLP”, “Executive Coaching”, “Professional Development Curriculums”, “Corporate Change Strategies” and other “improvement movement” ideologies into our society is sweeping the country at the tune of close to $200 Billion a year.  How many of these really carry the substance of human change and life altering benefits?  Some of them do, yet as an industry, the “improvement movement” and many of its icons base their entire ability to create change... on their ability to set an expectation of that change.

WordNet at Answers.com gives this exquisite definition of Placebo Effect: any effect that seems to be a consequence of administering a placebo; the change is usually beneficial and is assumed result from the person's faith in the treatment or preconceptions about what the experimental drug (or training) was supposed to do; pharmacologists were the first to talk about placebo effects but now the idea has been generalized to many situations having nothing to do with drugs

                                    

The last sentence of this definition even illustrates a propensity to incorporate the placebo effect into other applications, and now you'll see it being used in business circles.

If you are the kind of person that really gets inspired by personal and professional development, you need to be aware of the powerful applications of the placebo effect. If you are an executive who leads people and invests in professional development training for your staff, you need to know how to apply the placebo effect to increase your results.

A Brief History

The knowledge about the placebo effect significantly expanded with the medical need to perform controlled clinical trials, a scientific methodology largely used to determine the therapeutic effectiveness of new medicines.

The power of the placebo effect is evident and naturally occurs in every clinical trial.  What is... this powerful phenomenon is based on? 

It is solely dependant on the depth of one’s expectations... ...simply said, the power of human belief.

As a baby boomer child the socialization factors of success and identity were bombarded upon me.  As a young adult I entered the wonderful search for meaning, and identification and found it in the world of personal development... ...I alone funded the “improvement movement”. In the last 17 years, I have invested over $175,000 and close to 2800 hours in some kind of personal/professional development genre. From seminars and retreats to workshops and coaches I have seen and experienced it all... a lot of which was a significant waste of time and money.

About five years ago I had a mentor tell me to stop pursuing knowledge and to apply what I have learned and make it my own. In all my years of education and development, this was the best lesson I ever received. I have been to 24 day intensives, and weekend workshops, but the lesson I needed most was elegantly presented to me by a right minded, well intentioned mentor. He helped me clarify my identity and this launched me into significant levels of success as a consultant and speaker. Clients really value my knowledge and experience, they use it to change and improve their lives and careers.

A Mindful Eye

The “improvement movement” and all of its facets is an amazing field, full of self-discovery and growth. But like any industry with a high demand and huge financial gain, there are those skilled in the subtleties of smoke and mirrors. If you have an Executive Coach... or consistently invest in other forms of professional development, that is awesome... but remain mindful of the placebo effect... I want you getting more from life than just a belief of what your life can be.

As an organization, you should have developmental plan for your labor-force that goes way beyond the typical application of your best practices... they should make your employees better men and women. Assess the personal and professional needs of your staff, ask the tough questions of your contract trainers, and explore training options that will resonate with the needs of your business... then ensure that you apply what everyone has worked so vigorously to learn.